Loving someone: putting your partner's needs/pleasure/happiness ahead of your own.

Ok...if we go by that definition, consider the following situation.


You are married, and you love eachother. (or so you say)
Your partner however....feels that you no longer satisfy his/her needs and that there is another woman/man that would.
By the definition of 'Love', you would be happy to know that your partner has found happiness and would willingly tell him/her to go with the other person (perhaps even help out in the marriage etc...)
TRUTH: you wouldn't!
Chances are that you would be either be:
-ANGRY: you will say that you hate the person and curse them etc...*though if you ARE 'hating' them it's obvious that their departure bugs you and you DON'T hate them*
-SAD: you will either keep it all inside or cry for days etc...often leading to a change of behavior (depression or maniac behavior: with the intention of forgetting the loss) *their departure bugs you*
Even though you love them, there is something that makes you want them with YOU and only you. Something that makes you NEED them to love you back. Something that disables you from thinking " oh he/she doesn't want me at home today, i'll sleep outside! " What is that something?

So...think about someone you love, do you really love them by the dictionary's definition of the word 'love'?


Love and like are two separate things!

ex. your son is in jail, he quite school, he raped 3 people, he killed 5.....
Do you LIKE your son?! NO!
But you love him...you always will! You will do everything you can to give him a good life. You will cry for him. He killed, but he's human, you love him still.

*Did you cry for Saddam? He killed too...What made him kill? What caused all his anger? Someone must have cried for him...for him and for the family of all the ones he killed. So did you cry for him? I know I did!*

You can see someone in your school, work, church, art class, sports team etc...and something may pull you to them, making you observe how they react to things and the people around them. You may 'love' them, you may know that there is little that you wouldn't do to make that person happy. Then you say " but I don't KNOW them...how can I love them? Is it just physical? no...wait..he/she isn't attractive to me...". Well you can, you can love them w/o knowing them....what you can't is LIKE them. You don't like them because you don't know what they are like, but you can love them. Love has no reasons, it is not jealous, and it is not selfish (that other something that we don't have a name for IS - it also seems to like following love around!).

When you say love most people will either see two people kissing, hugging, 'dying' for the other, or having sex.
It's pretty sad that very few will see someone travelling around the word providing medical care, nutrition, and shelter to people in need.
Sex is lust! lust isn't love and love isn't like. I often hear people around me saying " OMFG! He/she is sooo f*cking hot! (excuse me for the language) I love himmmm/herrrrr". Love? no! you lust! and lust can happen between several people.....but love can't? or can it? love can....But that something we call love can't. Perhaps we generalize 'love' too much. The love we think of as love is a mix of love,romance,lust,desire,comfort,like,friendship etc...
Lust goes away...what keeps the couple together? love? no...love and that other something.

Love and that other something can often act in ways no one understands. A person might avoid being near the person they love in order to minimize the chance that they will hurt the other. They might go home and cry because by being away from them they can't make the other feel better if they are hurting.
In some cases what hurts the most is not being allowed to freely love and care for a person.

Hitler! you think kill, cruelty, death. It's true......but did you know that he was also an artist? Said to be a vegetarian? His life's ambition was to become a proffesional artist; However his father who was know for beating him up, prohibited him from becoming one. You may think I'm insane for feeling sorry for Hitler (and perhaps I am! ) but how can you NOT?! Baby Hitler...do you really think he has born with a gun on his hands killing everyone? NO! he was a baby like you and I were. He wore a diaper like you and I once did! What could have possibly made him kill hundreds of people?! Lack of love? Feeling that the world hated him? We'll never know....

This has nothing to do with love really...random (like me) But...people often think of white hair and wrinkles and 'EWWW'. Money (that could be used to help others!) is wasted on getting rid of these natural marks. White hair and wrinkles are beautiful! It's life's medal. It's a way of showing to the world that you've done it...that you overcame all the obstacles...you lived!

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Ask yourself the question: if you have only one wish, one your whole life....what would it be?
so....I asked myself that...and too many things came to mind. I sumed them up by : LOVE. to have everyone love everyone else equally as they love themselves. (in other words....get rid of hate) Sounds awesome?...hum ya i thought so to. What would happen then? well...
Situation: you want to get married to ____x____ but someone else wants to get married to _____x______. Since ____x_____ loves both equally....and doesn't want to hurt either....______X______ will marry no one. so no marriage.....but you can have sex w/o marriage ( techniquly speaking ). So you have sex with ____X_____ but ______y______ would be hurt because _____Y_____ loves you! and so on...so...no sex. Then what? no babies.... in other words..the human race would die.
In fact, nothing would be done....everyone would stare into space all day long (in fear that they would be hurting someone by their actions [which we all do ...wanting to or not] )
So love isn't what makes the world go around! It's hate! without hate (or atleast lack of love) there WOULDN'T be a world!
CONCLUSION: Life is perfect the way it is. There is nothing to change....well there is!...but nothing that we CAN change without destroying everything else!



I can go on and on.....(what's with me?! heh) The point of writing this? I don't know....perhaps to see if anyone understands what I'm trying to say. Or maybe....to have another person's idea on this. Please comment and post any ideas/thoughts you may have.
Thx!

Yours insanely,

Vivy